Preview (First Look) Conan Exiles – The Harsh Life of a Bedouin

Conan Exiles is an exciting new project. It goes without saying, first of all, for the reason that now it is not really clear which screenshots from the game can be laid out so that later you will not be under investigation for the distribution of pornography. And I understand that in the progressive Western community, the sight of lazily swaying male sexual dignity does not cause any questions (after all, the female genital part is strategically covered with hair). But still, personally, it seems to me that some part of humanity is still not ready to see what any new player in Conan Exiles will see at the very beginning of the game.

But closer to the point, right? For about a year, players who love interesting sandboxes with survival elements have been waiting for the release of a harsh action game with elements of the Conan Exiles role-playing game from the Funcom studio set in a curious universe. Quite recently, the game made it to Early Access on Steam, so the first thing I decided to do was check what the game represents from the inside and, as it turned out, a lot of things in it have not been implemented properly, although the potential is still huge, I will not lie.

Character editor

At the very beginning of the game, the first step is to decide how to play. The first option is an online server. The second is your own. On your own, of course, you can do whatever your heart desires. However, after you decide on the server, you will have to start creating your future character. A character can be either a man or a woman.

►Some monsters are even scary to face, let alone fight them.

But first, you should understand that this is still early access and all the planned functions in Conan Exiles have not yet been implemented, however, it is still possible to create your own character more or less individual. You can choose a race for your character, religion (this includes God, whom the hero or heroine will worship), voice, some other details of appearance, and most importantly – the size of the penis. Yes, friends, it was he. However, if someone is uncomfortable with such details, all such “charms” can be hidden.

However, even if the character creation in Conan Exiles looks “raw”, the developers’ appearance generator turned out to be glorious. In any case, this is still a matter of taste, because someone rarely spends time fiddling with all the sliders, although it gives me my aesthetic pleasure.

Overall, the beta test is the best time to be pampered. So at the moment in the game you can more and more often meet male characters whose penis size hangs down to the knees. Not to mention those who like to play for women, whose bust can easily strangle.

► The first adventure in the world of Conan Exiles ends like this.

Since Funcom paid great attention to working out the intimate details of models for both sexes, I was already thinking that maybe they play some kind of key role. I suggested that huge “personal belongings” or no less lush breasts should somehow scare off competitors of the corresponding sex, or at least attract enemies of the opposite.

So, having created a lady with a rather impressive bust, I very quickly became convinced that aggressive men under the control of AI are rare misogynists with whom it is impossible to negotiate or barter something. For that, on the public server, my lady was just snapped up and made even a slight sensation. I simply cannot characterize the loud and languid comments of Russian-speaking players in any other way.

Leveling and survival

After creating a character, you find yourself in the harsh world of Conan Exiles – in a large and endless desert, where corpses are seen at every corner, and danger is constantly blowing nearby. At the very beginning of the game, the developers do not provide any valuable information. So all tasks and goals will have to be looked for on their own. On the other hand: what else could there be in a survival sandbox? That’s right, no assignments. And the goal can be the development of your hero, thereby making him as strong as possible. Accumulation of resources, killing monsters and just the way of adventure. All this in Conan Exiles can be done from the start of the game in Early Access.

► And here the slaves are working in the sweat of their brow.

The character has to be pumped in the old fashioned way – killing enemies (for which valuable experience is put), developing certain characteristics, studying recipes for crafting, and much more. By the way, the latter, by the way, in Conan Exiles will be the most important detail. The bottom line is that without the ability to create a shelter for yourself or even a corny ordinary pickaxe, you will not be able to go far.

Depending on the selected server (PvP or PvE), communication will occur between other players. No one will forbid you to unite with your fellow believers in a clan, after which you will go to destroy someone else’s settlement with a whole group of like-minded people. In turn, loners in the harsh world of Conan Exiles will be difficult, although with the correct and competent development of characteristics and study of recipes, it will not be difficult to achieve what you want.

However, it is necessary to at least live up to such moments. The first thing after the launch of Conan Exiles, it was decided to go to the single player game. So, having created a young lady, I found myself in unknown ruins on the outskirts of the endless desert. From the nearby bushes, I managed to get the material that is necessary for sewing a shirt and trousers. Stones and sticks picked up in the same place were useful to me to create an hatchet. But at one point, I got too carried away with collecting resources, so soon my busty blonde died of thirst.

► An example of an altar that allows you to call on God. In this case, a huge snake.

Death in Conan Exiles isn’t really that scary. Of course, your pockets after death will be empty, and even find yourself on the very edge of the map with a bare bottom. Nevertheless, all your accumulated experience and skills will remain with you, which cannot but rejoice. Moreover, the experience will “drip” even for how many seconds you have lived under the scorching sun of the desert in an inhospitable world. Each new level will increase the basic parameters of the character (however, at the moment in Conan Exiles there is no clear explanation of how many times a hero with strength 2 is stronger than a hero with strength 1) and learn some new production scheme.

With each study of new recipes, additional opportunities will open up, such as creating a forge for forging armor or a shelter, etc. The game even has a sacrifice system that plays an important role in the gameplay. When performing some specific tasks, it will even be possible to temporarily become a god. That is, even living in Early Access, Conan Exiles still does not suffer from some kind of boredom or uniformity. In addition, a key role is played by a new, hitherto unrealized world, not worn down to the very holes in other projects, which makes it possible to implement the most unpredictable details.

► Actually, the aforementioned snake.

Game world

This is not to say that the early version of Conan Exiles suffers a lot from a small amount of content, although there really is not as much as it would like. Nevertheless, it will be easy to play dozens of hours. In addition, at the beginning of the game it will take a lot of time to understand what and how to do.

Someone will be tormented by strong thirst, and someone will be hungry. It will be possible to satisfy any needs either through battles or through research. Fortunately, the world is quite interesting to study. By the way, sometimes you can come across records with pretentious phrases and useful information, which will tell all the same about what is happening around. After all, even sand is not always found. The most interesting thing about Conan Exiles will always be in the center, which only the most persistent, strong and enduring players can reach.

In addition, the game has a slave system. Your character can personally enslave any other player (NPC), who will then become a slave and will perform various functions, including crafting and protecting the home from various ill-wishers.

► The game has a first-person view.

Technical problems

The technical side of Conan Exiles is quite obvious – the game is “raw”. At the same time, it is also impossible to frankly call the optimization “bad”, because everything has been done at a fairly acceptable level. For example, the game did without a sharp drop in the frame rate, for that it has bugs and other flaws.

Another thing is the translation of the game into Russian – this detail is really scary. The bottom line is that Conan Exiles is so “crooked” translated, and not completely, that the dashing pirate “localizations” of the zero years are remembered in memory. In addition, in my case, even switching the game to English did not help.


Perhaps the most interesting detail. For starters, Conan Exiles is built on the popular Unreal Engine 4, so many expect some great graphics that will amaze them. I have to disappoint because the visuals of the game seem to be pretty standard for this kind of games.

► In Conan Exiles, there are also dark dungeons that are overflowing with sinister forces. By themselves, they guard valuable treasures.

Before buying a game, it is important to understand one rather simple thing: nothing of what you see in the screenshots on Steam will not be in the game itself. And there are a number of reasons for this, but the main reason is that Conan Exiles either doesn’t want to or just can’t show an equally nice picture. If we talk about a single player game, then it looks bearable, but adjusted for early access and the fact that not every player has “angelic” patience. So, as you might have guessed, multiplayer is unlikely to get you anything visually. Another thing is the art style, large-scale in-game objects and some enemies – all this gives Conan Exiles a certain pleasant charm.

Unfortunately, the animation also pumped up, because it also doesn’t look the way it should. It is not frankly “wooden”, but rather, again, the same “middle level” of the graphic part. Animation will not make you “wow”, but you will not want to close your eyes in horror either. However, the game is still ahead.


As I said in the beginning, Conan Exiles has a lot of potential. The potential of this project can only be compared with the size of the penis of men in Conan Exiles, and with the slider turned to the maximum. Funcom studio is now on the right track, because at the start they managed to present an interesting and attractive world with boring possibilities, a variety of futuristic monsters and a considerable level of epicity. By the way, about the epic – the game has great music, which directly says that you are in the world of that very Conan the Barbarian. In the end, do not forget that the project officially supports various modifications, and this is a huge plus, which means that the game will clearly not let you get bored. So Conan Exiles will definitely find its audience among fans of fantasy survival games.

Leave a Reply


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Death’s Door Coming to PS4, PS5 and Nintendo November 23rd

Review of the wonderful MMORPG game Taiji Panda: Heroes