What do you think needs to be done to make players hate you as a developer? Spit a smirk in your face? Uh, no. It is enough that you just kindly transfer the rights to the series to some crooked exploiter who will work not for the sake of an idea, but for the sake of money, while he will abuse not only the game, but also the entire series more than once, thereby affecting feelings fans. Once again, the large game portal GameAwards is with you, and today we are reviewing the series’ murder guide for dummies – the strategy Warhammer 40,000 Regicide.
In complete decline
As far as I know, the Warhammer series has always suffered alongside its loyal fans. From the very beginning, of course, everything was extremely good, then there were strategies, and additions, and even large add-ons. Of course, the players were jubilant at this, and the orcs and the Space Marines were constantly chopping each other to pieces. In general, nostalgia. Now everything is over, and an era of deep decline has come. And, it seems, what could be worse than this complete ass. But as it turned out, it can. The once great game and no less great universe was thickly covered with garbage, which consisted of second-rate games from half-educated authors.
Now, in 2015, Warhammer game announcements have literally flooded the network. As you remember, at the exhibitions they constantly played cool and epic trailers, where they showed: cool shooters, thoughtful tactics, cooperative survival, advanced MMOs and other delights. And even if the announcement of the game Dawn of War 3 did not take place, but rumors among the vociferous players have been circulating for a long time. Well, in the meantime, all the coolest toys in the Warhammer universe are in development, we will be swarming in such shit as disassembling this game according to the “shelves” of Warhammer 40,000 Regicide.
Of course, at first it may seem to you that Warhammer 40,000 Regicide is a cool tactical action game, where there is a well-thought-out turn-based system, at the same time, which is sharpened for the famous universe. But no, although the trailers say otherwise. In general, we have to admit that the trailers really worked out and they can fuck most of the players. But in reality, the game turned out to be some kind of bloody parody of chess. Where, for example, the King nervously scores a pawn for daring to attack him, and the Queen sleeps with the enemy knight.
They didn’t even try to please the players with the storyline, because the company, which has a five-minute script, with dialogues for a few seconds looks more like an essay by a schoolboy who played games all day long, and then came to school and was told to write an essay on the topic: “How did you spend your summer? ” Although at the same time the players are trying to please with nice graphics and scenes of brutal finishing moves. Players are even offered miserable multiplayer modes, but more on that in order.
Incredibly addicting game
The first mode is Classic. The rules are nowhere simpler: two players, or a player against a computer, are fighting among themselves with ordinary chess, which is designed to resemble the game universe. In short, this regime cannot be praised or criticized, because chess is chess.
But as for the second mode, there you can, frankly, ahue **, because the developers themselves decided to come up with this mode. Moreover, they flashed their intelligence so much that one can only envy this. Just imagine chess, chessboard. Now add to this all the protective shields, grenades, fortifications, melee battles and even your motherfucking orbital strikes! This is in order to ebony ** demolish the entire chessboard, along with the rabble that is there. And that’s not all. Heroes now have a reserve of their strength, the level of their armor and even life. And during all this porridge of goat feces, the usual chess rules are constantly in effect. If you want to know briefly what happened in the end, then it is very difficult to find an expression. Although, this is probably what I do in the toilet after spicy food. Yes-ah, exactly, this shit is complete!
And the mode is called “Regicide” for the reason that you need to overwhelm the enemy King. I sat for a long time and thought how this srach can be connected with the Warhammer universe and generally pay 500 rubles for him. But the biggest problem with the game was not even that. There is an insignificant amount of content, there are micropayments and other nonsense that the game does not need at all. And it’s also a poor balance … Poor, because the creators felt that they shouldn’t waste their precious time thinking over the details. And, really, why such nonsense is needed. After all, people really like it when they rub some kind of game.
That’s why think about some kind of tactics or method of fighting, when you can just throw grenades at any figure on the map + add a bunch of art strikes to this. The system in the game is created on such a principle that even the stupidest cerebral palsy will not be able to merge battles, well, and those who have fumbled in chess before will not be able to overcome with some super-clever combination now, because there is no need to think a lot in this game. As you already understood, Warhammer 40,000 Regicide is a collection of the most ingenious ideas. So a person who enters the game for the sake of chess battles will be amazed at the balance inside.
Naturally, you can even get used to this, even if you have developed a good combat strategy, and one of your fighters will miss about 10 times on the enemy for the wrong reason, thereby signing the death penalty for your tactics. And imagine, this is not even the worst thing in the game. Here’s what really hit me right in my heart – the solo company.
And what a single company there is. It’s just a collection of pathetic scenarios where you are told every time you find a way to accomplish a particular task. That is, you understand, you cannot develop your own battle tactics, the tactics of passing – you must, even must do what the creators intended in their sick head. And now add to all this the “great game random”, which will determine the fate of the further battle. That is, either you will be shot stupidly from machine guns once again on the battlefield, or your soldiers will miss a hundred times, and then they will shoot you again. There are no miss statistics, they don’t exist at all. It is not known why your fighters will specifically smear. It’s just a fucking mystery of history. How did you come up with such a brilliant idea? Why hasn’t anyone come up with this yet, it’s a divine idea!
A punch to the heart
Micropayments have become the last smack in the face. In order for you to be able to open a new miraculous division, and this is an ordinary suit, you need about, or even more, 10 thousand of the usual game currency. Moreover, which is simply unrealistically long farming. Just cunt ** for how long! During this time, while collecting this money, you can already raise children, build a house and wait for a worthwhile game. Although, there is a way out – lay out a few hundred rubles and get what you wanted.
And yet, let the game, along with the poor developers, drown in the jerk, there are pluses. Animation and graphics are the only things that can please you at least a little, at least a little. Any battle is bloody and brutal, which is clearly in the style of the Warhammer universe. Orcs violently jump on their victims and choke with pumped tits, hammering opponents and shouting “Alah Akbar”. Against the background of the brutal massacre, the unique finishing off of some significant figures stood out. It looks very beautiful, cruel and even brutal.
True, this is all, because if, for example, you do not play with a friend who will not shout for every failure of yours: “Well, you are a crooked-handed sucker”. Then there is nothing to do in the game, because it is quite difficult to find a worthy opponent in the same online, as a rule, only slow-witted people sit there and those whose brains do not rise above ten fps.
Well, it’s up to you to decide whether or not to play Warhammer 40,000 Regicide in order to once again swear at the authors. I believe that such games at such a price deserve a place only in the trash, not to mention those games that destroy universes and entire stories (these generally need to be doused with gasoline and fired to hell). The list of minuses in the game is so huge that you can’t count everything on one hand. Even with the most positive views, the game looks like a real slag without any chance of getting to Paradise. Chess lovers, entering the game, will simply spit on the entire screen, seriously. For 500 rubles, there are really masterpiece games for which you really want to thank, and for that … for this piece of under-playing, you just want to put some hot stuff in your hands and more when meeting with the authors.
Reviewer verdict max.korg.vin