How I Conquered the World – Grand Ages Medieval Strategy Review

Grand Ages Medieval represented a strategy for me, on which I placed my great hopes. She represents a kind of mixture of “Civilization” and “Total Var”. Moreover, in real time. I will not hide the fact that I also fell under the “spell” of this game. The material demonstrated by the developers was beating to the very heart. Huge cities, large-scale buildings, the opportunity to consider subjects, very deep trade, which was based on supply and demand, war – all this really hooked me. Maybe someone wanted to make my gaming dreams come true? In any case, we will now find out in the review. Friends! The large gaming portal “” presents an overview of the Grand Ages Medieval strategy for you.

Genre incomprehensible to all

Before starting to juggle the mouse and keyboard, I first looked through the track record of the creators of Grand Ages Medieval. And you know, I looked for a reason. And all due to the fact that after the release everything went, frankly, in the ass – 40% of positive reviews, says something? Of course, to determine all the advantages and disadvantages, according to reviews in Steam, it would be at least stupid on my part, so it was necessary to check why people had such a fart tore apart like my opponent yesterday, when I merged in Dotka more than 15 times.

To begin with, let me remind you that it was the global strategies that combine a variety of genres that had well-honed game mechanics – practically none. There is always some very strict division into groups. For example, RTS is short, but detailed and just specific. TBS is very big and more thoughtful. Of course, there are some impurities, but in general, genres “stand firmly on their feet.”

The last attempt to recreate the same thing that is in Grand Ages Medieval was not received too warmly. We are talking about the game Hegemony Rome: The Rise of Caesar. In this toy, you could control your armies in real time, build cities, chop down the enemy and, of course, develop. All this was distinguished by the fact that the action of the game took place on one global map. Alas, as mentioned above, the game was not received very warmly. She was showered with the freshest shit, which did not even allow a drop of fresh air to breathe. As a result, the game bent down and went to the bottom.

Grand Ages Medieval is another such attempt to show the mixed genre in all its glory. The authors of the game did not want to build game mechanics, following age-old traditions, so they got together and created their own. In it, you have to develop on a huge map, and in real time. You personally, with your crooked hands, begin to build an empire, building huge cities, developing trade and waging wars. Of course, there are also peaceful ways – for example, diplomacy. Of course, you can still substitute your ass, but I think that not everyone will like what the opponent does to her, right? Well, okay, now we will sort out in order how all this virtual trash works.

Money rules the world

Again, let’s get back to “Steam” and its reviews. Most of the reviews are purely negative. If someone does not understand why they decided to cram the game into the very depths of the human anus, then I explain – the game simply did not meet the expectations of the players. I’m sure most of the players thought that when they entered the game, they would see a parody of “Civilization”, but more detailed and with a grafon that you can jerk off **. But it was not so, because for the first 7 hours you definitely have to deal with only one trade. Trading is difficult. And most likely for the reason that it is very difficult to control.

I will not hide – Grand Ages Medieval really focuses more on earnings and trade than on war and conquests. This is probably one of the most important points. If you decide to buy the game, then do not expect that you will be able to fight in beautiful battles, capture the Princesses, take them away to distant lands, etc. If this happens, then I personally congratulate you, because you have finally lived to the later stages of development. Well, if you believe the practice, then only the most patient can get there, so if you are tearing your ass out of mistakes, or you are constantly crying to your mother, then you will definitely not be able to get to this point.

In Grand Ages Medieval, there is not only a complex economic component, but also a dynamic trade, and all this is also connected with supply and demand. All this is interconnected. That is, you have to constantly monitor the market, because it will change regularly, and you need to make a profit.

This is where the fun begins. Selling and buying is carried out at the expense of merchants who roam the cities with caravans. They automatically, like real grannies from the market, determine the prices and benefits from your purchases and sales. Of course, it would seem that I would set up the route taking into account the deficit and demand, after which I would start swimming in gold: driving along the embankment behind the wheel of a cool car, calling women, “beeping”. But that was not the case, because the fucking market is constantly making its own personal adjustments. Gradually, the previously established routes lose their relevance, prices gradually fall, raw materials stagnate, because of all the shit, the Queen leaves you, takes the children, a long war begins. Of course, I am pushed hard, but in any case, in the end they have you in all the cracks. More precisely, you incur huge losses, and no SberBank will pity you.

By the way, we must not forget that it is necessary to set up logistics for the delivery of raw materials for the production of materials and, in general, for the construction of your town. And of course, in this everything will bother you. The raiders, whom you will literally curse, will constantly bother you, and negative events of varying degrees of complexity will gradually begin to break your built economy and even very important cities. “Life is pain,” but this is the reality. In the most difficult period of your life, neighbors will soon come to you to pick up the last loaf of bread. And, yes, it all happens in real time.

Vagueness is another problem. Due to the complete absence of any microcontrol, players are forced to constantly deal with logistics and delivery of goods. You constantly have to deal with manual regulation of trade with even greater and greater zeal, personally constantly transporting materials to remote cities and raking up those heaps of crap that have accumulated.

It is impossible to order the merchants to give up the wheat and work calmly, for example, with tools. It will also not be possible to set the parameters of need or storage, so that when buying your merchants can save space. The scheme is everywhere and always only one single – we buy cheap, sell somewhere far away from the land more expensive. This is where all the “wisdom” of trading in the game ends.

Build the city, protect the city

Cities are built, perhaps, in the same way as in “Civilization”. They are a handful and have only one icon for the idea. After choosing a city, poke at it and then poke at the building. After that, you have a new city or building.

Any city is built up according to one single scheme: first, we teach the whole city to earn “green”, after which we begin to engage in production, then we raise the population and, in the end, finally, we increase income, which drops sharply with any jamb. Limited number of buildings can be built. In addition, there is also production. However, there are no more resources. Any city will have a level, and the level will be determined by the number of people and the quality of the trading part. To briefly retell everything that I indicated earlier: it is much easier to build cities, therefore, to deal with its economic part.

I probably got too carried away with the tales of the trading component of the game. Some already, probably, are asking the question: “Well, but at least it will be possible to fight?” Of course you can, but even this process is literally tied to the economy. In addition, it is also not really realistic. War is the last detail you will need in the game. Every soldier costs money. If there is no money, the soldiers will immediately put their big and fat one on you, after which they will scatter home, leaving you all alone on the battlefield.

And anyway, why do you need this army? You will not see really beautiful battles here and you may not even expect that you will be able to take and collect all the girls from Constantinople, for whom the enemy will tear their ass. You don’t have to wait for your infantry to rush into battle, and the cavalry to strike at the enemy from the rear. Do not expect archers to cover the enemy with a hail of arrows, but they will hide under their shields. Just don’t expect anything amazing.

The siege of a city is just a convention. Almost the same as in “Civilization”. You got to the city, took off your pants and began to show dances with a baboon. There is simply no point in fighting. It makes sense to defend yourself. The easiest way is to just try to get rich and conclude contracts, and then just buy up the cities with all their inner guts.

In the piggy bank of shortcomings, you can also add a soundtrack, which is so dull that it puts you to sleep with every moment. The graphics, albeit not bad, but because of the non-optimized game code, Grand Ages Medieval will constantly lag and literally “heat with wood” your system, which, by the way, is done by modern toys.


You know, I understood why in Steam the game was approved by only 40% of the players. 40% are those people who still managed to sit in the game for more than 7 hours and figured out the economy. Perhaps this is the main problem of the game. Not a single point in the game was brought to full success. That is why it is simply impossible to praise the Grand Ages Medieval. And if my memory serves me, then the developers promised a normal war, which is not even mentioned here. Even the plot, where there are conspiracies, intrigues, palace affairs and other medieval scandals. They just get lost between mining gold and getting a high status. Everything is too difficult, and if you understand everything, it will take at least seven hours. Moreover, in “Steam” money can be returned only within two hours.

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